by Guest Writer S.W. Cannon
Before you can begin to redesign anything, you will need a focal point. The change needs a focal point to be kept in mind as you go along to make the decisions needed to get to your desirable re-tuning of life. When it comes to your life and what you desire (other than your love of God), your love of self should be what guides you. It seems simple but you can only be happy with your life if you are doing what you want to do with it. Allowing others to throw the sands of their needs over you can bury you completely. You can enjoy the beach, if you aren’t under the sand.
Every day, people are putting other people before their own happiness. It’s hard to fulfill your purpose when you are used up, overwhelmed and buried alive fulfilling the purposes of others. I do not speak of children, the beings we brought on this earth and are responsible for until they can do for themselves. I do not speak of spouses, the beings that we became one with and blended as a single spirit. I speak of others that have a life of their own but we give of our life, our energy….ourselves to the point of exhaustion. Saying no to others can most often be the greatest gift of redesign to ourselves.
I know you have three kids to help with homework and that you have worked a lot of overtime this week, BUT can you bake 50 cupcakes for the bake sale tomorrow? No. I heard you were laid off from your job yesterday, BUT can you let me borrow $100? No. Those were easy examples, however every day not so clear examples are happening. When do you say no for the sake of saying yes to yourself? How do you keep from being covered up by too much sand? Think of it like this, any time someone asks something of you, ask yourself a few questions:
Is there someone else they should ask?
- Is this something they should be able to handle on their own?
- Did they miss a chance to take care of this themselves?
- Do I feel taken advantage of?
- Does this person always ask too much of me?
- Is it selfish of this person to ask this of me?
- Is the sacrifice mine when it should be theirs?
If you can answer yes to any of those questions, then giving of yourself may not be the best result. Helping others feels good. Constantly giving of yourself until there is nothing left for yourself, is never good. You cannot deplete yourself to fill up someone else and expect to have what you need to move forward. We are all given a life. If you allow others to have the benefit of their own life AND your life, then you are not left with a whole life to live. You have to take care of yourself first. As a life guard, the goal is to save others. At the point, that saving them risks your own life, you have to choose you. In this life you have to make sure you have what you need before you go to help others, if you do not want to perish. Use balance, discernment, boundaries and qualifications to determine how much of yourself others are allowed to use.
S.W. Cannon was raised and still lives in Birmingham, Alabama. She has had a love of writing for years and getting her feet wet in published works with blogs and a local magazine was just the beginning. She has a freelance career with experience in copy writing (fashion/style) and content writing (legal field) but her passion is within the lifestyle/relationship genre for both the male and female demographics. She has written under the name Sha’ Young for Shepreneur Magazine, Y.U.R.I. Magazine and SportsLifeMusic.com. As a part of the Yahoo Contributors’ Network, she has also done copy writing for Accessorizing You on Yahoo Shine!, a hugely popular eZine of the search engine giant Yahoo.
S.W. Cannon has built a great readership with her writings on relationships with her blog STFU4ABetterRelationship.WordPress.com. Her straight talk about interpersonal relations is just what most need to interpret the opposite sex and change behaviors that endanger their relationship as well as how to keep things copasetic with your loved one.
S.W. Cannon writes about relationships for life and fiction. Check out her first novella Casey Canyon available at www.AuthorSWCannon.com.